8:36 p.m.
2004-07-16

Well, I have un-locked my diary...which is fun...

I am in Arizona right now, visiting my father...it's weird because i'm not sure I want to get to know him, we have a lot in common, but i'm afraid if he gets to know me and likes me then he might start to try to get custody of me again, and since I have at least a sense of stability right now, i'm not exactly welcoming that thought with open arms.

Also, this trip has made me realize how much I really do love my grandmother.I miss her like crazy...and barely ever get to talk to her, which is unfortunate.

I also find myself missing Bryce, which is crazy. He is actually a pretty cool person, he...listens to me, and makes me feel good about myself, and as you probably know, that's all I need.

I also miss Victoria, of course, and am dreading the thought of going to different high schools...hopefully she won't be like "Yeah...go away." when she finds some new friends. I am kind of pathetic actually, leaning on her...like a leaning on thing. I probably need to get a life outside of her, that would probably be healthy.

I am giving up trying to get into art class; I have no artisitc talent, and probably wouldn't have made it anyways. I need to find something I am actually GOOD at, not some fooling-myself-into-thinking-I-can-actually-do-it-well thing.

I have about 5-6 days left...I really want to go home...

I have been depressed lately, thinking of people I shouldn't, but what else is new. And why am I attracted to pricks? That makes no sense. Not to me, anyways.